Miss you

Its been more than a month since your enlistment,I feel extremely lonely but optimistic because I know you will return one day.This deafening loneliness and all the accumulated troubles I can tell no one.I will wait for your return.I can only look back at the photos and give myself reminder.

Lonely

Been  almost 3 months in school now.I think I never felt more alone.My close friend starting to show some irritating aspects of her but I still like her.Everyone feels what I feel but no one wants to let her know.I feel so stressed but I know many things keep me going.Drumming and working in gym to match my ideal weight at 53kg.Sometimes I feel so alone as if no one cares but I know Im wrong.Its just the moment.So this random guy in my class I met twice outside school in unexpected places.I thought it was destiny but when I searched my soul,why did I feel so.Did I just want his attention or others attention.I should be my self shouldnt I.I shouldnt posts things just to get likes and get noticed.My good friend adores him but some part of me know its just his good looks and we all dont understand him at all.It just a silent game to wait for each other to confess. I really dont think the compliment or approach to talk and acknowledgement stands for nothing.I cant tell anyone neither will I admit it.Im not such a great person to tell the whole world how i feel cause they dont care.Trust me.I have been vexed for months now ever since he said the word "cute".I always think too much but that gaze cant fool a cat even.All saud and done.Maybe i should stop pursuing and start living really

A break to start afresh

It's been about a month plus since school started and I'm trying to get my engine started.Been busy goin for classes and gyming,drumming.Im aiming for firsts and to make everyone who love me proud to be associated with me.Mostly I'm miss EastSea who is in army.I miss your warmth through Instagram,suddenly I felt a very lonely vibe when you left.Its sad but I told myself I will come to you when you are discharged as a better and more capable person.If Earth allows me to meet you in the dozen dreams of you especially on your birthday then I am meant to be.I love you and will be waiting.❤️Alwaysいちも Happy Birthday !

lovers

I had a strong urge to blog this.Now,every girl has fantasy of someone they like.I said like not love.Like can be friend like or love like.I am pretty sure that we all dont admit either one.I thought loving someone was something where you really want their attention.But,no.No matter where you are,you think of them and always wish them to have the best in the world and you guys feel a connection right from the start wihtout realising.Sadly,I have not been in love.It is mutual feelings that count,not one sided.Grwoing up in a controlled environment,I never knew what was making own decisions until few years back,I was never wrong neither was I perfect but I respect the way.What does it like to get unrequited ffelings and those you will never know existed until you combat your fears and reputation.Is it that I need to cast aside my biggest pride to find it? Do I need to put equal effort.Yes,everyone is look concious.We all want to look our best for people we like and those opposite.But the biggest mistake is to lose yourself.I have been blogging for a super long time now.I can see myself growing to who I am.People get shocked not because I chnaged but because I revealed something I have never revealed and I dare not reveal and I may have lied about how I felt truly.

Second family

Ever felt like your friends or classmates were your family.Sure do with these bunch

Sky,Tears and Sea in the East

060806,One of sad days.Its best to know that it has changed someone's life.I know you are doing well and though its still hurts,your dad is watching you from afar dear.Hope you do even better and I hope and pray so

Estherday

Love the colour of sea,especially in the east

Your tears

They say the strongest are those with tears,Being strong need not be honest nor despicable,It was having a pure heart when stand with evil.I thought my tears were mine alone,but when I saw yours through your words,I knew why mine had to appear so.Is it just me or is mine slowing becoming yours.I believe in us,People may say the impossible is impossible,but life is impossible and yet the impossible keeps protecting those who exist.Decided not to go too far but if fate allows,I want to meet you once more.

Whom

Everybody's changing but I dont feel the same.I thought that I am becoming closer to myself.Im becoming most honest about my feelings.To understand that this is me.I am like that and thats how I live

Almost is never enough

Till fate reached

Weight loss

I have been on reduction mode since about 4 years ago.I have been less than I would have in Form 5.I use to consume about 3000 calories and above.With one can drink and a packet of potato chips per day.I used to weigh 77 kg before my SPM.I started losing weight since I went to the gym.What sparked me.I guess the feeling where I didnt feel confortable anymore,breathlessness and also inspired to look better.Today I weigh about 64 kgs and that is sti a lot for my height.It is below BMI 25 but I am not satisfied.After my Part 1 LLB exams during the summers,I had this spirit to go workout.Reduce my food and also watch my food intake.Avoid unnecessary eating and prevent bloating.Most importantly make aure you get the proper food at the same time.My best advice is Stay Away From Sugary Drinks.Drink Plain Water or if you feel bored with that (call it Sky Juice)

Fake

Till this day,I was not one whom openly declared everything I feel.Please direct me to a person who does? Yes.I can be dishonest sometimes,thats cause I want it that way.Until the end,I can only hurt you with my lies but not my sowrd.I dont know which one worse,but I guess lies.Many people love to discuss their love life ,which person did that and this,who is smarter or blah blah,I love this idol.I cant do that.Perhaps the best is to leave it to yourself.Not everyone wants to know,and not everyone tells.Call me whatever,I will be me.

Tears

I am not crazy but today once more,I cried watching Plastic Memories.I love Isla,the main character,in the anime,she is a giftia ; in which all are given a lifespan of 81920 hours,equivalent to 9 years plus and they are like human,with a soul.Only to be erased of its memories after those hours.I often wondered what if someone dear to me just left.It did happen recently,we werent th closest to each other but i felt it.I wondered what if one day I were to leave.I must take nothing with me,but will my memories be mine to keep.It is more invicible than a mystery.Today,I felt a tinge of reality amidst something created.Irony

Penang Trip by Johorean

https://plus.google.com/118123730417155785634/stories/4c90f487-6f05-3734-8bee-e12d55367c6514df9dcfd22?authkey=CJ7i0qfJ0Y-ntwE

Penang Trip

Was something we planned for over 3 months,departed on 25th May and back on 30th May.We backpacked from North to South.Penang-Kl-Malacca.Travelling by bus is indeed convenient.You just need to open your mouth to ask around and do some research on hotels and places of interest.Ask a local,thats the trick.

Cookin in the house

Corn soup with fresh mushrooms,Fish steak with vege,Squid with herbs,Steamed pumpkins,fruit salad,pork stir fried with green peas

Penang post coming soon

My favorite Album

Rythm and Blues and a combination of bromance,Donghae and Eunhyuk are back to bring some more music with The Beat Goes On.I got my album at Mahkota Parade.It comes with a poster and a some photocard.Of course, I am Donghae's supporter but I got Eunhyuk's card.Thank God i manage to get one of these albums in Malaysia.

Today

My beloved is nearbyy.One of my favorite character is coming back to life.I saw a rainbow crossing each other.I had a  beautiful bowl of soup and had a great meal.My family are here.I found notes.My favorite bun.

Have a good discussion

I have talked about my friend to others.And i talk to her about others,doesnt that make me a bad person too.I need to change that but its still human nature.I had a good conversation with her.I still cant tell her everything cause it will cause a volcano eruption.Its my problem,I solve it.

Exams near the corner

Dear bloggers, Like many of you,I am a student in Part1 LLB under University of London International Programme.My ambition is to explore a different part of this world and take a moment to go to those places i only see in movies or shows.I love watching television.I have learnt most from watching tv but now i learnt more on internet or reading news articles or journals.Otherwise the easiest laziest way is to Google.I am having my first paper on 7th May for Law of Tort,damn the cases are not in my head yet,not to mention the fact that we have to write fast,structured and add our comments.Is that even human.I really like this course,it was so comfortable to be in.I felt that i belong here and here I am.During this past 7 months,i have changed my thinking.I will think over why i do things now.Using more common sense and logic and more critical thinking skills to evaluate myself and inherit that into my work.Things are to be reached out for.We must teach ourselves to practice and familiarize and learn from our mistakes and make it right.Dont procrastinate cause eventually it will pile up and get back to you.Learn to understand not memorize.Use good language and present your thinking in a presentable and intellectual manner,your work really reflects your thoughts and understanding.Make use of all resources including lecturers,books,friends.Share your doubts and we all improve together.Studying law,you must write and do assignments.When you attempt questions,you learn the theories,clear your misunderstanding about certain areas and prompt you to ask.Explore as much questions as possible.But since we are all pressed for time,learn the essentials topic first and specialize in the area,then the ''what if'' topics comes as back up.Do typical and cliche questions for often you learn easier there,more specialize and you form a structure in your brain.Remember not to spoon feed you pal with information,think.If you dotn think,you wont know you are ignorant.Ask questiosn fools.Are you that great to underestimate lecturers.Istantly,they can recognize those who fail or pass.It like looking through a glass for them.Get family support,rest well at night,eat well,dont burn midnight oil.You should have prepared from start,if you aim pass,work like you are aiming for 60.Thats the rule.Surpass the standards.Never stop,just rest.Go watch anime or Super junior shows like me.Kekeke.Do what you like,laugh your stress away.Be happy ansswering your questions,its your time to shine.Make sure you reserve your last week for quick summary.Dont read old things.expend your knowledge,if you dont see front,how do you know its your back? Complain on your blog,post crazy things and show the whole world you are crazy.Oh man,i love this post. Yours sincerely,the future LLB-alumni of 2016

Life Goal

One of my life goal is to be here one day to see Tokyo Illumination with someone special 😁

Screwed up people

As i was heading to the bus station just awhile ago,this freaking man in shades told me that my bag was running left and right,excuse me are you trying bully young people or is it because i am not one of your people.You screwed up frog,is it your fucking business.If you see someone with heavy bag in front,just move ahead.Dumbo.you mean that when you drive you dont look in front.Sometimes.i suspect that people are do indulged in propaganda that they forget we are all humans.Especially harrasing someone who has a bad flu.F you dude

Trip

Hello.Just wanted post some travelling photos i took.I went on a 3 day 2 night trip nearby.Went to pray my great grandparents since it was qingming and good friday.My adoptive great grandparents were catholics who passed away during 1960's.They are buried in Parit Yaani.Near Yong Peng.My grandma who just passed away must be in heaven right now.Hope they are all there.We went around Kluang to late grandpa's shop,then to Seremban .Me and bro went watch Parasyte,the japanese anime.movie.It was gorry but enjoyed it since it was late at night.Took a trip down to Port Dickson and Melaka.Met up with Grandma's cousin who lives in an apartment with her maid.Bought food for her.Wanted to order D&E album but was not sent to Malaysia yet.Wish my sister better health since she was diagnosed wih hypothyroidism.Better health and days to all.

Hello to no readers

Here is to nothing.I have been keeping up with this blog since 2009 if im not mistaken.Thats about 6 years.I have always been someone who kept to herself partially.There are certains things i dont want people to know.Thats called privacy.Since young,often got teased by people.Like oh you like that guy or who is after you.I dont have much of  a social life,my life is surrounded by those closest to me.I dont know the reason,it just that i prefer to go with the flow not sudden dramatic vhanes without reason.Not much of a reader i am,i love experiencing things.But so many things experienced made me stress everytime something was up.I knew how to do it but i feared the process.Just watched DH interview i find that yea we are the same.Things used to be so stressful and i hated it.It made me negative about certain areas.Things are different at 21.You must let go and stay calm.No point rushing because life is only that.It is not how you think but what it is.You just have to go around it and figure something out.I used to get so irritated with arrogant peoplr and those who are so strangely quiet but now i fully understand their feelings.Everyone who lives on this planet have emotions.So does nature.Understand the differences and embrace it,you live in a more positive world and its all in.I dont think im crazy to say that destiny has arrived.Even though he is so far away i feel this connection so deep i cant explain.I love everything he does and what he says cause it comes from his heart.His weakness for tears in my eyes are just a droplet of his feelings that comes from deep within.I love how he wants to become a father as soon as possible.I want to be your child's mother.I love how he smiles at silly things his friend does cause its beautiful.Its just natural.I like how modest when he answer interviews him.I love how exaggerated my feelings are that i must say and profess to the world because he gives me courage.I like how he love dogs cause i do.I love how he like black blue and white cause those colours are the ones i love best.I love how we are 7 years apart.i love how we are the same horoscope sign.I love how his hair is gel.I love his style especially how he looks good in any hairstyle whether short or medium length.I like his efforts and his words.I like how i think silently about him in everything.I like how he posts on instagram and sometimes i get to post after him and we think the same.I love how he says be healthy since i too think wishing people good health is important.I love how puppy his eyes are and how nice of a nose he has.Its beautiful.I like my hope that we will be at the same place one day.I like how he writes his lyrics especially Still you and sometimes i feel like singing it to him.I like my old self,the more unpractical but now that he arrived,i want to be good use to him and give him the happiness he deserves.I want to be someone to you Eastsea.Do you know that i even plan silly things just to bump into you,i know its like set up byt thats just how i think.

Facebook deactivation

This is not the first time I have deactivated facebook.There are many reasons why I did so.If you are interestex to read on.Well,the first thing that will pop up on my facebook are links which are pretty much more interesting than sotries of where people had their dates and what their other half did for them.Call or label me jealous,it doesnt matter anymore because overdose of that,it really irks people especially those who use facebook to get back at their exes.                        Next comes the part where people love to comment how sweet their friends are or those irritating tags like BFF.Girl,give it a rest,how many BFF can someone have in their life.I cannot do it,what have people done so they can be called my sister or my twin.Come on,lets be realistic and face it that our family is our only pillar of support.Besides,I can forget the fact that someone people use comments and inbox to get closer to someone,why dont i see you talking to me in real life compared to you commenting but when you see me,there is nothing to say.What do you expect I do when you do that,so if I for one greeted you real life,you get a shock.And,facebook becomes a medium where people who dont have the guts to ask you suddenly inbox you and ask you certain questions of their burning desire.Of course,finals are here but that is besides the point.Facebook becoming medium to exhibit illicit materials and link of how people go on dates,propose or what couples do to have a long-lasting relationships which does not exist.Even marriage is an obligation nowadays.How many people marry cause they cannot live without each other.Then ,everyone will have their daily horoscope and love calculated.Then come all these 9gag which is one of more funny posts.And all these tags about how guys love games and gamergirls.Then comes all these crap about how people shouldnt go for looks.Why the fuck do I care? Come on,we all go for looks.How can you see someone's heart,intentions and how they feel when education educate us how they think.Are we really preserved to be ourselves or education has changed us to be more profitable in this world.Everything is bought with money,once money dissapears,all good things dissapears and we are left to comfort ourselves with that little drop of sympathy for ourselves.Then come all these guys who post selfies and wefies.dude,doesnt mean you have a lot of guyfriends mean you are cool,try all of them having girlfriends,do you think you will hangout so often.And,I rather you guys go meet Wayne Rooney or A picture with Drogba or something.Pictures of girls,so over.Not yet done,then come all stupid apps notifications that clogs up your notifications box.Fuck,all these aliens who never shared a bun with you want to ask you join Farmville and Candy Crush.Fuck you,talk properly.I know what i want download,dont need you to fuck my facebook further.Facebook should share all the happy things in your life and funny things and whatever you want.So i decided to stop it since it has been tainted by too much rubbish.All these i am crying and sad that he doesnt love me anymore and love quotes.Give me a break.If he love you,you wont even have time to posts

I only wanted your blessings

My frustrations dawned from the time I never got your understanding.I wanted myself to be me but you all could not stand the sight of it.I could give many,more than you thought.But this world is so cruel that the word "practical,reality" came into strong force.I did not want to learn of it but my instinct told me it will save everyone.I m sorry i couldnt give everything because it meant destroying everything.Fight for survival hurts me,all the most cruel thingd came to find me because the most screwed up things also find their way.One day,it will dissipate and I will bring light back to all of you

What is wrong with them

People come and go.There are those who are still here.How can people who talked to you so fine and waived to you suddenly become so cold.I wonder what i did or what happened to them.I have a classmate who I think is cheerful and smart suddenly skips classes and appear out of nowhere.I just joked with you after so long,is it so hard to absorb that you think i am weird.When i shut up,people say im arrogant,should open up more.When i begin to open myself,people think im weird when i did nothing but the social norm of joking and making fun of.I mean few months back we could still grert each other and talk occasionally,suddenly strangers again.What the heck? Why I am so bothered over one conversation? Because once upon a time,i really liked being friends and coursemates with you but it seems i was just a passerby for you.You may think it doesnt matter but it hurts.Is as if I did something wrong but no one wants to tell me.I dont think i did something incorrigible

My feelings

SUPER JUNIOR-D&E_너는 나만큼 (Growing Pains)_Music Vid…: http://youtu.be/Zs2NibgZgR4     

Indeed it is the time where these feelings are hurting like you do not know the real thing.Again,D&E spot on timing of the current feelings Im enduring but it will heal with time but never completely

Although I was ready,It did not happen

12 days ago,Grandma passed away at 11.25 pm at Tan Tock Seng Hospital in ward 6A11.She passed on due to Ischemic Heart Disease peacefully surrounded by close family members.Your best memories will be our living space.May the angels lead you to a place where love is everlasting and painless.I miss you every second but life is life.Death is part and parcel.Im so proud of you for living with so much bravery and your last hugs and words will be etched to my mind always.My prayers stop time for I want the best for you.This lost will be cured.Your pain vanished into thin air like how vulnerable life is.With everlasting love,Crystal

Things I have done that I should not

It was a short weekend,was sitting down revising Law of Tort when I suddenly recalled my actions during my school days.Perhaps I should not have said that I knew something about someone else no passing their exams in front of the person I should not have mention to the most,Perhaps now he got a wrong impression of me even if I didnt mean it or he still talks to me.I should not have said he looked like nemo and let some people think I was being flamboyant.I should not have commented on my friend's grandma dish.I should not have looked up to someone so much,yet I am not liked.I should not have trusted my coursemates too much.

Trying to improve my language

http://prowritingaid.com/art/21/List-of-Cliches.aspx#.VLSBV8kZ7qA

Danny Choo Event last year.

Had great day spent with people that I onky get to see on newspapers and blogs.Thanks for being part of my day Mr.A.Samad Said ,Mr.Danny Choo and Datuk Jimmy Choo.It was an honour meeting all of you and attending Mr.Danny Choo's KL Culture Japan Night at Aloft KL Sentral.Got to eat my favorite Kyochon.Got to buy my favorite manga and catch a glimpse of Comic Fiesta.I love the hotel breakfast at City Campus Lodge and the salad we bought from the mart down at Aloft.Love my new Chitose t-shirt,a gift from my bro.Love everything.