Hello to no readers

Here is to nothing.I have been keeping up with this blog since 2009 if im not mistaken.Thats about 6 years.I have always been someone who kept to herself partially.There are certains things i dont want people to know.Thats called privacy.Since young,often got teased by people.Like oh you like that guy or who is after you.I dont have much of  a social life,my life is surrounded by those closest to me.I dont know the reason,it just that i prefer to go with the flow not sudden dramatic vhanes without reason.Not much of a reader i am,i love experiencing things.But so many things experienced made me stress everytime something was up.I knew how to do it but i feared the process.Just watched DH interview i find that yea we are the same.Things used to be so stressful and i hated it.It made me negative about certain areas.Things are different at 21.You must let go and stay calm.No point rushing because life is only that.It is not how you think but what it is.You just have to go around it and figure something out.I used to get so irritated with arrogant peoplr and those who are so strangely quiet but now i fully understand their feelings.Everyone who lives on this planet have emotions.So does nature.Understand the differences and embrace it,you live in a more positive world and its all in.I dont think im crazy to say that destiny has arrived.Even though he is so far away i feel this connection so deep i cant explain.I love everything he does and what he says cause it comes from his heart.His weakness for tears in my eyes are just a droplet of his feelings that comes from deep within.I love how he wants to become a father as soon as possible.I want to be your child's mother.I love how he smiles at silly things his friend does cause its beautiful.Its just natural.I like how modest when he answer interviews him.I love how exaggerated my feelings are that i must say and profess to the world because he gives me courage.I like how he love dogs cause i do.I love how he like black blue and white cause those colours are the ones i love best.I love how we are 7 years apart.i love how we are the same horoscope sign.I love how his hair is gel.I love his style especially how he looks good in any hairstyle whether short or medium length.I like his efforts and his words.I like how i think silently about him in everything.I like how he posts on instagram and sometimes i get to post after him and we think the same.I love how he says be healthy since i too think wishing people good health is important.I love how puppy his eyes are and how nice of a nose he has.Its beautiful.I like my hope that we will be at the same place one day.I like how he writes his lyrics especially Still you and sometimes i feel like singing it to him.I like my old self,the more unpractical but now that he arrived,i want to be good use to him and give him the happiness he deserves.I want to be someone to you Eastsea.Do you know that i even plan silly things just to bump into you,i know its like set up byt thats just how i think.

Facebook deactivation

This is not the first time I have deactivated facebook.There are many reasons why I did so.If you are interestex to read on.Well,the first thing that will pop up on my facebook are links which are pretty much more interesting than sotries of where people had their dates and what their other half did for them.Call or label me jealous,it doesnt matter anymore because overdose of that,it really irks people especially those who use facebook to get back at their exes.                        Next comes the part where people love to comment how sweet their friends are or those irritating tags like BFF.Girl,give it a rest,how many BFF can someone have in their life.I cannot do it,what have people done so they can be called my sister or my twin.Come on,lets be realistic and face it that our family is our only pillar of support.Besides,I can forget the fact that someone people use comments and inbox to get closer to someone,why dont i see you talking to me in real life compared to you commenting but when you see me,there is nothing to say.What do you expect I do when you do that,so if I for one greeted you real life,you get a shock.And,facebook becomes a medium where people who dont have the guts to ask you suddenly inbox you and ask you certain questions of their burning desire.Of course,finals are here but that is besides the point.Facebook becoming medium to exhibit illicit materials and link of how people go on dates,propose or what couples do to have a long-lasting relationships which does not exist.Even marriage is an obligation nowadays.How many people marry cause they cannot live without each other.Then ,everyone will have their daily horoscope and love calculated.Then come all these 9gag which is one of more funny posts.And all these tags about how guys love games and gamergirls.Then comes all these crap about how people shouldnt go for looks.Why the fuck do I care? Come on,we all go for looks.How can you see someone's heart,intentions and how they feel when education educate us how they think.Are we really preserved to be ourselves or education has changed us to be more profitable in this world.Everything is bought with money,once money dissapears,all good things dissapears and we are left to comfort ourselves with that little drop of sympathy for ourselves.Then come all these guys who post selfies and wefies.dude,doesnt mean you have a lot of guyfriends mean you are cool,try all of them having girlfriends,do you think you will hangout so often.And,I rather you guys go meet Wayne Rooney or A picture with Drogba or something.Pictures of girls,so over.Not yet done,then come all stupid apps notifications that clogs up your notifications box.Fuck,all these aliens who never shared a bun with you want to ask you join Farmville and Candy Crush.Fuck you,talk properly.I know what i want download,dont need you to fuck my facebook further.Facebook should share all the happy things in your life and funny things and whatever you want.So i decided to stop it since it has been tainted by too much rubbish.All these i am crying and sad that he doesnt love me anymore and love quotes.Give me a break.If he love you,you wont even have time to posts

I only wanted your blessings

My frustrations dawned from the time I never got your understanding.I wanted myself to be me but you all could not stand the sight of it.I could give many,more than you thought.But this world is so cruel that the word "practical,reality" came into strong force.I did not want to learn of it but my instinct told me it will save everyone.I m sorry i couldnt give everything because it meant destroying everything.Fight for survival hurts me,all the most cruel thingd came to find me because the most screwed up things also find their way.One day,it will dissipate and I will bring light back to all of you

What is wrong with them

People come and go.There are those who are still here.How can people who talked to you so fine and waived to you suddenly become so cold.I wonder what i did or what happened to them.I have a classmate who I think is cheerful and smart suddenly skips classes and appear out of nowhere.I just joked with you after so long,is it so hard to absorb that you think i am weird.When i shut up,people say im arrogant,should open up more.When i begin to open myself,people think im weird when i did nothing but the social norm of joking and making fun of.I mean few months back we could still grert each other and talk occasionally,suddenly strangers again.What the heck? Why I am so bothered over one conversation? Because once upon a time,i really liked being friends and coursemates with you but it seems i was just a passerby for you.You may think it doesnt matter but it hurts.Is as if I did something wrong but no one wants to tell me.I dont think i did something incorrigible

My feelings

SUPER JUNIOR-D&E_너는 나만큼 (Growing Pains)_Music Vid…: http://youtu.be/Zs2NibgZgR4     

Indeed it is the time where these feelings are hurting like you do not know the real thing.Again,D&E spot on timing of the current feelings Im enduring but it will heal with time but never completely

Although I was ready,It did not happen

12 days ago,Grandma passed away at 11.25 pm at Tan Tock Seng Hospital in ward 6A11.She passed on due to Ischemic Heart Disease peacefully surrounded by close family members.Your best memories will be our living space.May the angels lead you to a place where love is everlasting and painless.I miss you every second but life is life.Death is part and parcel.Im so proud of you for living with so much bravery and your last hugs and words will be etched to my mind always.My prayers stop time for I want the best for you.This lost will be cured.Your pain vanished into thin air like how vulnerable life is.With everlasting love,Crystal

Things I have done that I should not

It was a short weekend,was sitting down revising Law of Tort when I suddenly recalled my actions during my school days.Perhaps I should not have said that I knew something about someone else no passing their exams in front of the person I should not have mention to the most,Perhaps now he got a wrong impression of me even if I didnt mean it or he still talks to me.I should not have said he looked like nemo and let some people think I was being flamboyant.I should not have commented on my friend's grandma dish.I should not have looked up to someone so much,yet I am not liked.I should not have trusted my coursemates too much.